RANDOM THOUGHTS— MEDYO MAGULO ITO PERO PWEDE NA— NO TIME TO IMPROVE IT– 🙂
In the midst of the pitter-patter of the rain, I find myself an inspiration (I do not know if it is really an inspiration) to scribble my nearly-crying feelings (if I may call it) of wanting-to-go-home-but-to-no-avail situation.
I recall myself having been home four (4) months ago (that was during the Holy Week). It may sound exaggerated (OA for this matter), but four months (in my thought) is too long to be away from home (How much more for those who have been years away— Well, I just can speak for myself). The feeling of so-near-yet-so-far has been attacking my system since some days ago. I call it such because home is just two long land transportation rides away from home (which would consume 10 hours (for one way) of my life– more than 700 km of land travel via Mac Arthur and Halsema Highways).
At times, I just have to browse over family pictures or play on some family videos to entertain myself (actually not to entertain myself—but to let my lachrymal glands function well). My cousin, Dineliza, would even let her lachrymal glands function too as we try to exchange ‘nostalgic’ words through text or through Facebook.
Since this morning, I have been in a ‘missing-home-a-lot’, for I know that I missed a family gathering today. I am a person who wants to be physically present in all family gathering and activities. I find self-fulfillment whenever I find time to mingle with some members of my big family. Few days ago, I received an even invitation my sister. The event invitation states that there would be a post birthday celebration of one of my aunts on August 5. Receiving this invitation, I paused for a while to let my neurons work– for I need to decide whether I have to go home or not at all. Finally, I convinced myself that I can manage not to go home this time.
Just this morning, I received a text message from my aunt which reads ‘Gud mrning lunch tko patpatowan ta bon ong kmi ha ha’. Ahuh, yes, this message (for some reasons) made me weak, for I know what comes next are pictures from home just to press my nerves of envy. As expected, few hours after lunch, my facebook notification button states that my cousin tagged me in a post. I know, I know so well that those are painted words that would enliven my nerves of envy and my nerves of nostalgia. And they did! These pictures performed their roles well— They served their purposes—
This time, I am still here–gathering my nerves of envy to become whole again, for I know that a lot is yet to come.
I just missed family gatherings— I miss home– NOSTALGIC!